The American Dream, Revisited

Sitting crouched in a ball waving two hands back and forth in front of my crown molding may sound like a night of too much Maker's Mark and too little 2 Bros $1 pizza, but it's really just my first experience with winter. 

I could never remember what it was called until I got a phone call that it burst. My first big girl New York City apartment was ruined.

A radiator. It's called a fu&%*ng radiator.

It's an odd feeling to walk into your cold, soaking wet room covered in unidentified liquids which resemble black soot mixed with God knows what. My precious designer fuzzy slippers which I received on the tenth night of Hanukkah in 2008 just laying there apathetic and black similarly to my landlord's soul. Yes, I know there are only eight nights of Hanukkah, however my family is unconventional and totally rad so we celebrate whenever. Sometimes in June. I digress.

What would now keep my feet warm from New York's harmful polar destruction that is January in the Northeast? This is where the 'odd' rather than 'sad' feeling comes in. True, I'll miss those slippers and I wish my white West Elm drapes weren't now the slight hue of urine-poop. (Is that the new Crayola color I hear? Contact my agent.) But alas, I can now replace those slippers for no other reason than they're ruined! Light bulb. I could cry as I threw away half of my room, or I could think of it as a reinvention of my space. My half-assed decorated room now had a brilliant excuse to receive a makeover.

This is how I choose to look at my first go with winter. I have to cover all of my outfits with the same warm coat every day. I only wear one pair of shoes for fear that I'll step in snow and ruin my latest purchase. I can't get a quick pedicure. And I consistently have little to no feeling in the ear lobe region. But as I sit on the floor wondering why my radiator isn't emitting heat, I'm going to choose positivity. I believe that this is the new American Dream. No, not living in crappy buildings with intermittently functioning heat, but remaining positive, ceasing complaints and working hard until something unexpected and wonderful comes along... like new designer slippers.